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Marriage Quotes

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Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
George Jessel

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
St. Jerome

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Irwin Corey

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Alan King

Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.
Sophia Bush

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.
Michel de Montaigne

Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.
Robert Graves

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".
Herbert Spencer

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
H. L. Mencken

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Doug Larson

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.
Jean Rostand

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.
Paul Hornung

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.
Benjamin Disraeli

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H. L. Mencken

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.
Emma Goldman

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Judith Viorst

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.
Honore de Balzac

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.
Joseph Joubert

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
H. L. Mencken

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Brendan Behan

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
Peter De Vries

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
Peter De Vries

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
George Jessel

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
Honore de Balzac

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.
Heinrich Heine

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Helen Rowland

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place.
Helen Gahagan

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Benjamin Franklin

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
Barbra Streisand

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
Alan King