If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
